coming around the corner

It is like you are standing on that remote railroad track, high in the Rockies over a ravine that drops into a quarry's lagoon of sort and off in the distance you hear it.  The only problem is that in reality, and currently at real time...it is only meters away.  Muffled by the rising rocks you don't realize that the engine is on top of you and there is only one way to...well...only one option.  

You leap.

What comes next?  I have no idea.  I do, that passion to write, the thoughts of sharing daily stories, old times, fun moments, sad ones, scary ones, real ones, and others that I don't even like bringing up from the depths.  But sitting down and putting to paper, screen, or rather blog at this point is harder then you might imagine.  Sometimes it is time, other times it is shear fear on the ability to transcribe what rumbles through the grey matter.  There are times where I don't remember putting the baby down for a nap.  Anna's frustration grows with each conversation she has to repeat because there is a... ravine where the conversation  took place.  She insists it is selective listening, perhaps at times she is right and for that honee, I am sorry.  But more often then not I don't hear the locomotive approaching and before you know it I have lept.  As I fall I see the faces, the bodies, the stories of all those I knew that have been lost, or of those black bags I have zipped closed.  Why is it I never forget the shear look of panic over my battle buddies face, or the appearance of all hope lost as we fight to stop the bleeding of a fellow "brother"?  Other times I am over taken by the laughter following a rocket attack and then sometimes the sound of Mia's first cry or the excitement and genuine love shown by Cora as she bounded down the stairs upon my return.  Leaping from the 4th stair, simply saying, "Daaadddyyy".  I don't know, I really don't know...  

"what honee?  I will be right there."